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Lonely, I’m so lonely…..
As a parent do you often feel isolated from your friends and the social life and freedom that you used to have?
Loneliness used to overwhelm me, it would cause a huge pain in my chest like a boulder weighing me down, I would cry myself to sleep and my body would ache longing to be touched.
I would focus so much on the loneliness that I would feel more alone and isolated and it stopped feeling like I had been rejected and felt more like I had rejected myself.
I felt like everyone would reject me and that meant that I had to do it all on my own.
The problem with doing it all on my own, was that I couldn’t.
I just felt like I couldn’t change the way I felt, like I would never stop being alone.
One of the most important things I learned is that there are so many ways to connect. I can connect with anyone and everyone I come in to contact with in some way and most importantly i can connect with myself.
I realised that the loneliness was a fear of not being good enough and a fear of rejection all rolled into one big scarcity mindset.
To get out of the loop I was stuck in of fear and loathing and negative focus I needed to learn how to connect with myself and how to enjoy time with myself for what it was not because I had no other choice.
I had a choice.
I could be open and vulnerable to the people in my life and start letting new people in and I could also seek support and outside help and connection.
What I really wanted was to be seen, but I was the one hiding.
I learned to let go through energy work, I let go of the judgement of what being alone meant to me. I learnt to re-frame what I was seeing my life as, I am learning to create and embrace abundance and focus on what is in front of me so I can move towards a life that I desire.
Next time you feel lonely I want you to think of a time when you felt loved and connected to others, when you felt safe and secure and you completely trusted in the space you were in and the people that were in it with you.
Then write down or say out loud all the things you were focusing on at that time, all the things you were grateful for at that time and all the things you were thinking at that time.
Ask yourself do I have that now? There will be places where you do, recognise them. If there are places where you don’t then ask yourself what do I need to do, be or change to have that now? Sit there in that memory and that question and feel the difference in your body, your mind and your soul.
Try it and let me know how you go